Want to understand human emotions better? The book Atlas of the Heart by Berne Brown teaches you have to raise your levels of emotional intelligence. In this Book Summary of Atlas of the Heart, we discuss the most important lessons.
The Atlas of The Heart firstly, lays out a series of human feelings and emotions. It explores what lies beneath the most basic of human feelings. And by dealing with the base emotions in the right manner it is possible to change how we interact and deal with people as a whole. See the book here.
Right through out a person’s life, he is faced with emotions when dealing with people and situations. The persona is basically what is left of human interactions at the most basic level and gets to define how we react to future situations. By better understanding the process to creating this persona, it is possible to change the way we think and react to situations. Thereby a person is able to define his character to a large extent.
A lot has been written about emotional intelligence. By reading Brene Brown’s book the Atlas of The Heart, it shows how it is possible to be having a higher emotional intelligence by learning to control our emotions better. The failure to address problems thrown up by emotions, people tend to be negative towards others and situations and this can lead to a lot of poor emotional responses.
The Three Lessons from The Book
List of Contents
The entire book, the Atlas of The Heart can be condensed to three lessons that deal with emotional maturity as a whole and the individual in particular. They are as defined as follows.
- Emotions vary in perception and effects on people. Some of the most harmful emotions are disappointment, internalizing anger and comparison with others.
- It is possible to be a better self by letting go of negative emotions. This is done by getting to be as vulnerable as possible and takes effort.
- Understanding your emotions is the first step towards controlling them and with it your persona.
The above three points can be seen as the three lessons that the author details everyone wanting to improve their emotional intelligence needs to go through. It must be said that a lot of the lessons are subjective. Some people need to work on some aspects more than others while there are folks who would already be putting to practice what has been recommended in the book already.
Lesson 1
Do not compare ourselves with others and deal with personal anger as soon as it is recognized. In the book, Ms Brown identifies 87 human emotions and how they affect the person on a daily basis. The most hurtful of these emotions are anger and disappointment. In a way these two go hand in hand as often we see that disappointments leads to anger.
The book teaches us how to deal with the emotions detailed in the above. People can move out of a rut and react to anger and disappointment in ways that can produce positive results most of the time. Unless we learn to control anger and disappointment with opposing emotions like love, compassion, joy, or some other positive emotions; it can consume a person.
Lesson 2
By doing away with a set of negative emotions we are making ourselves vulnerable, which in turn makes us open to new connections and companionships. Often the negative emotions of anger and disappointment are developed as a guard against outside intrusion. And sticking to this way for prolonged periods of time make us isolated and without feeling towards others.
By lowering your guard and inhibiting anger and disappointment, it is possible to create new connections with people and grow in a more holistic manner. People who are vulnerable tend to share their experiences with others and are more open to making new connections. It is wrong to see being vulnerable as a defect. It is the best way to grow in the long term.
Often the challenge is to find out who to be vulnerable to. Once this is understood, it is possible to create great understanding and friendship with people from all manners of life and viewpoints. Then being vulnerable becomes a strength that could be put to good use and positively.
Lesson 3
Learning to differentiating emotions. Most of the time, emotions are of two types. They either strengthen the persona or weaken it. The hard part is identifying a particular emotion in a person as a fortifying factor or a debilitating one. Often negative emotions are brought out as a defence mechanism without the person being aware of it.
Once a person learns to differentiate his emotions, Brene Brown lays out a path of reconciliation that would lead to lowering of the bad emotions which bring with it an added sense of security. At first, the action would bring on a sense of insecurity which is often not considered suitable to have by the person.
It is the better understanding of our emotions that would lead to a more complete person on the whole. Every one can hold their emotions under control and it comes by practice. The book lays out that humility is a strong emotion that needs to be cultivated by people for personal growth each time.
Conclusion
The book, Atlas of The Heart, would help people dwell deep into their personas to bring out the most powerful of emotions that control their daily lives. Understanding the emotions is the next step from identifying them. Often it takes on outside agency like Brene Brown to bring to the fore what each set of emotions holds for each person.
Once an emotion has been identified, it is then necessary to lower the guard for growth to happen. The book lays out the steps to follow to bring about growth at the emotional level. Better, it stresses the need to be humble under all circumstances and helps people set smaller achievable goals in life.
One of the most common mistakes people commit so early on in their lives is that they compare themselves with others. This can be a positive aspect as long as the energies are channelized in the proper direction and not produce negative emotions.
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